An apology, except not really.
I’m sure all 17(?) of you have been wondering why progress on my dailies has seemingly halted. Well, you ever have one of those days where you’re just exhausted? Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally? You get home from work, you take off your uniform, and you pass out. Sometimes until it’s time to work again the next day. Sometimes in a chair, sometimes in bed, sometimes on the couch. Hell, sometimes you don’t even make it inside and pass out in your car. Well, you ever had one of those weeks? Or months?
Long story short, I burned out. Not on art, believe me, I still wanted to draw. But it’s kinda hard when you use up all your willpower day in and day out to push yourself to do the best job possible in a place you really have no business working.
I’m sure someone will read this and say “Tough nuts, no one likes their job, everyone is overworked and underpaid.” And while I generally agree, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t take its toll. I lost my job of 9 years back in 2014, and spent 6 months unemployed, unsure of how I’d pay my rent once I burned through the little bit of savings I’d managed to accumulate. Well, I didn’t like that feeling one bit. Once I finally found a job, I worked as hard as I could to put myself back into a financially stable position again.
Thing is, to be able to pay my debts, I can’t afford to take breaks. There’s no paid time off, no vacations, hell, no lunch breaks. I’ve taken one personal day off in the past 8 months, and it’s finally caught up to me. The weight of everything kind of hit me all at once this past week, and I could barely bring myself to get out of bed. And unfortunately, exhaustion and depression are old college buddies. I was in kind of a bad place.
Talked to some friends a little, and bit by bit, I’ve started to feel better. So I’m gonna give this art thing another shot, try to find my groove again. Once I’ve finished this set of dailies, I’m considering trying something different. Possibly commissions? Or at least more requests. We’ll see. I’d like to be able to make it to a con this year, never been to anything pony related before, and there are lots of friends I’d like to meet for the first time. Any commission funds would go towards that. I think it’s a solid plan.
I guess this has been more of an explanation than an apology, which is fine I suppose. Thanks for the encouragement, y’all know who you are.
